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Post by mariam? on Feb 1, 2008 16:09:39 GMT 1
Week # 10 Theme: Carnivals
The Practice Playground is back! This weeks theme is 'Carnivals'.
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Post by summer. on Feb 1, 2008 17:14:54 GMT 1
OOOOH (: I love carnivals. They're creepy, well not the ones where I live but still
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Post by gems on Feb 1, 2008 20:35:30 GMT 1
Carnivals, eh? awesome! i'll have a little go at this later okay, because i'm a geek and just love this practice playground, i've just gone off and written this week's theme it's not really all that good as i haven't written in a while...but practice is fun *-----------* Diana’s sparkling sapphire eyes burned holes in the telephone, inches away from her fingertips. She’d been starring at it for minutes now, her golden blonde curls falling over her face yet she didn’t attempt to pull them back. Her entire attention was fixed on the closeness of her hand to the phone receiver. I’m not going to call him! she thought desperately though her hand seemed to think otherwise as it inched closer, now touching the shiny surface of the phone. It had been just a few short hours ago since she had last seen him, her Jack. They’d gone out for brunch, whatever that was. You either had breakfast or you had lunch in her mind, this half and half meal just made no sense to her. Well, despite the oddity of the meal date, she’d had the most incredible time. Jack was her kind of a guy. He was sweet, funny and had the most gorgeous smile. It wasn’t a smirk, he wasn’t one of those cocky guys, the smile was warm, inviting, as if you and him had just shared this special in-joke. It had just been two weeks since they had met. Well, two weeks since he met her anyway. She had been staring longingly at his office window for months before finally she had the courage to string a conversation with him. She isn’t a stalker, though admittedly that is the given impression. Diana works as the coffee girl for a large company, Masks & Masquerades ltd. She pops into office meetings with her little trolley and fresh pot of coffee during the work day. Jack works in one of the offices; nice view, good pay and the odd little perks of a coffee break made the job all that much better. It had been on a particular dreary Monday morning that Diana had timidly entered his office equipped with a brew of coffee. He’d noticed the little biscuit which she had tucked into a napkin by the coffee, cream and one sugar. Enquiring about it had brought a blush to her cheeks and, later on, led to him writing his number in the napkin. Miraculously, she hadn’t thrown the dainty thing away when she came back to tidy up. Ever since that promising day, they had innocent smiles during the work day and innocent brunches on the weekends. It was only now that she wished for something a little less innocent and a little more towards the commitment stages… Her index finger stretched to the 5 digit, his familiar number running through her mind and she longed to dial it. I can’t call him, not so soon!Silly little dating game instructions flashed through her mind. Yet the flyer she had picked up whilst walking home had formed an idea in her mind. The Carnival was coming to town. Lord knows she’d heard enough about it at work, Masks & Masquerades ltd. was, of course, supplying the event with some equipment. Jack had been run off his feet getting all the orders in and the whole event looked set to be a hit! Everybody was going to it, kids, the elderly and couples alike. It was the latter of course that most interested Diana. She didn’t know why she hadn’t thought of asking him before. This would be a proper date; a Carnival to remember. They could go on the Ferris wheel together, holding hands perhaps. Watching the parade in a crowd and yet, because they would be looking into each others eyes the whole time elaborate masked figures danced their way down the streets, they would feel as if they were the only two people there. The happy crowds and gaiety of the occasion would surely be the perfect atmosphere for romance to bloom… Diana smiled to herself and her romanticised nature. So maybe the day wouldn’t go as perfectly as that but she was certain of one thing: she was going to ask Jack Holden out for a proper, no work involved and certainly no brunch, date! *-----------*
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Post by Simply "V" on Feb 2, 2008 14:17:12 GMT 1
You jumped right in and with both feet! Great job by the by, Diane made me laugh with the whole brunch/lunch thing. I just loved the name of the company she works for Masks & Masquerades. Hmmm, I can't see anything to critique right off the bat but I sure am glad that this is back up. I might even contribute. Good job Gems! ;D
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Post by *~*Alia*~* on Feb 2, 2008 14:47:47 GMT 1
That's amazing Gems! You're such a great writer. The only suggestion I have is to maybe vary the beginnings of the sentences a little. Use verbs or adjectives rather than "It", "The," or a person's name.
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Post by gems on Feb 2, 2008 17:01:06 GMT 1
Ahh thanks guys! And thanks for the suggestion Alia, i just looked back over it and i never noticed before but i think i do start too many sentences with 'it' lol Looking forward to reading some of yours guys
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Post by Simply "V" on Feb 6, 2008 5:37:21 GMT 1
Here's my contribution... Carnival She reached for the ebony wig that would complete her costume. She had several more just as black sitting atop wooden heads in her cupboard. Her own hair had once been long and thick and silky black like a raven’s wings. She’d been the envy of every woman in the camp. She studied herself now in the floor length mirror dulled and darkened from age and smoke and made a few last adjustments to her dress. It was blood-red in color with glass beads hand-sewn across the low-cut bosom. The hem was nothing more than black sequin tassels that fell just below her small posterior. She reached both hands to her face and pinched her cheeks once again trying in vain to bring some color to her sallow complexion. It had only been eleven months ago that a drunken patron had hung onto her shoulders and declared boisterously that her skin was as soft as silk and as creamy as milk. She’d laughed him off and sent him stumbling home to his wife and no doubt, seven kids. Her cheeks were no longer plump and rosy nor her lips full and ripe for the kissing and it had been a long time since she’d had to send anyone home. A hasty swipe at spitefully shed tears smeared the rouge that hid her sunken cheeks. She quickly reapplied the heavy make-up, patted her hair in to place one last time and stuffed a few more tissues in to her already bulging bra. She’d just flung a black feathered boa around her neck and over her boney shoulders when she heard a heavy knock on her door. “Come in,” she called and walked through the curtain of rainbow colored beads that separated her sleeping and dressing quarters from the rest of her living space. She took pride in her small home of thirteen years and it showed. In every corner there stood reminders of all the places she’d traveled. A small settee sat flush against the only window the old gypsy’s home afforded her. It had been a gift from one of her many admirers. An antique table sat in front of it and served as a knick-knack holder. It held a wide variety of figurines, mostly unicorns, beautiful stones and sea-shells shaped by mother-nature. They were all a testament of her love for simple but beautiful things. The narrow door to the caravan eased open and a red-headed giant of a man of indeterminate years peeked in, “Boss says to get a move on; it looks like we’re going to have a mighty fine crowd tonight.” She nodded as she plumped a cushion and straightened her mother’s lace work on the back of the sofa. “I’m comin’ Ben. You just hold your horses and for goodness sake, either come in or wait outside. I don’t want any bugs waitin’ for me when I come back!” Ben Tilson looked properly chastened and ducked his well-shaped head back, softly closed the door and retreated down the four steps to wait outside. He’d only needed to step on the third step, he was so tall but he used all four as a proper man should. Ben was the only man who hadn’t been inside the fading beauty’s abode. He never knew what to do with himself when in her presence. She was so tiny, he felt like a giant beside her. He waited to escort her to the Black ‘N Gold tent each night although it wasn’t his job. He was a hired hand; he packed up the tents each time they left a venue. Sometimes he’d help one of the acts with their props and such but he liked working behind the scenes. Every show of every night was the same. The good and upstanding folks of whatever town they camped in would come out and stare in awe at all the wonders set before them. And there were many wonders to behold. There were shows of all types and for every persuasion, booths filled with prizes rarely won, games and rides for both the young and the old. The thrill-seeking crowd was made up of all kinds of people, some of whom sought thrills that were darker than others, which is why Ben played escort every night. He didn’t trust the anxious and intoxicated men to behave themselves. He began to get anxious himself when the door the finally opened. He shuffled from one foot to the other and mumbled, “Boss says to hurry.” Two emerald green eyes stared up at his 6ft 3in frame from behind dark lashes, “I heard you the first time, Ben. Come on then if you’re so anxious.” Two dimples and a pert smile softened the retort and Ben blushed prettily, “Yes ‘em.” A resigned sigh escaped the ruby stained lips and with a flounce of her ebony hair she turned and led the way to the busiest tent in the camp. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The night air was filled with a hodge-podge of scents and sounds. The cries for popcorn, candy-apples, and sugary sweet things could be heard pouring from every child’s mouth. Moms and pops were trying in vain to keep the excited children under control. The sight of a red headed giant flanking a petit and too trim lady would in the light of day, cause the inhabitants of the small burg to draw up in disdain but not tonight. Tonight was Carnival and all were welcome! John the pitchman could be heard down the thoroughfare entreating the passing crowd to “Come one, come all and see the wonders of the world!” Ben only had eyes for one of the wonders and she was right in front of him. They steadily worked their way through the enchanted throng until they reached the big Black ‘N Gold tent. Unlike the paying customers they made their way to the hidden entrance in the back. Sheba, a dark skinned girl of African origins waited impatiently for the two to follow her inside. The carnies had found her sitting beside her dead mama’s body outside a small southern town just four months ago. She’d quickly caught the eye of Candy, the stage manager of the ‘girlie-show’. It was his tent that brought in the most money night after night. The upstanding citizens weren’t so upstanding after the sun went down. “Where ya’ll been?!” the girl exclaimed and hurried on not waiting for a reply, “Candy’s got ‘em into a near frenzy for ya!” Her brown eyes gleamed with anticipation and her skinny but muscle-toned arms flitted this way and that as she spoke. “We’re gonna make a killin’ t’night fo sure!” The senior of the two ladies returned the child’s enthusiastic grin with one of her own, patted the girl’s shoulder gave her a gentle push, urging her forward, “Best go chil’ b’fore they bring this tent down.” The girl nodded and at Candy’s hurrying gestures parted the curtains and rushed on to the rickety stage to the sounds of whoops and hollers. The curtain fell back in to place and the two carnies were temporarily alone. The petit woman looked up and over her shoulder at Ben and asked, “You gonna wait for me?” He answered as he did every night, “For as long as I have ta.” Her lips peeled back into a contented smile and then she turned back to face the curtain again. Ben watched as she squared her shoulders, grabbed either end of the feathered boa and parted her way through the dingy curtains. A raucous cheer went up and Ben peeked through a hole in one of the curtains. His little wonder had joined the prancing girl and together they danced for the pleasure of the swaying crowd. He stood up and away from the hateful curtains and resigned himself to wait for the night to end.
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Post by - *Munchbunchs* - on Feb 7, 2008 7:46:37 GMT 1
Oooooo cool guys. I might contribute but I have a Romeo and Juliet essay to complete so I doubt it. Coool.
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Post by gems on Feb 7, 2008 16:23:29 GMT 1
Ahhh i really liked that one V! Ben's such a sweet guy interesting take on a Carnival (seeing behind the scene was awesome and a cool way to give the character more dimension that just their stage performance) and i loved all the little descriptions you added here and there and Munch, it you get any time to write one i'd love to read it
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Post by *~*Alia*~* on Feb 7, 2008 23:41:25 GMT 1
LOVED IT V! Your use of descriptions is amazing. If I may make a comment, I had to read some parts a few times before I completely understood what was going on.
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Post by Simply "V" on Feb 8, 2008 0:19:52 GMT 1
THanks for the critique and compliments. ^Alia, I know what you're talking about and I agree. I'll have to keep working on it . I'm looking for more entries! I wanna read your work guys!!
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